The most important things that I wish that I had known at thirteen are as follows:



 


  1. I wish that I had known that people are not replaceable. It seems obvious and yet people do it all the time, get lost from good friends through distraction with other aspects of life. And one tends to think, oh, I will meet new friends. And one does, but they are never exactly the same. People, especially the people that you spend time with when you are young, are precious and unique. When and if they move away, make sure that you get an address because sometimes people can just slip away and you might never see them again and it might not seem like that is so important now but as you grow you may see that they were even more relevant than you initially realized.

  2. I wish that I had known that taking little steps can take you anywhere - taking the time to chart out a plan of action ahead of time and break it into easy accomplishable steps is essential. Take some time to think about what you want to be and what you want to do and the best ways to achieve what those might be.

  3. Make a list of the most important attributes for you in a person, that way when you are searching for a friend or mate you will not get distracted by a pretty face on a person who doesn’t have the important attributes like honesty and the ability to communicate and be self-evaluative.

  4. Also, make a list for yourself and keep it accessible and visible that lists the attributes that you might want to achieve and attain over time for yourself, like playing a musical instrument, learning some other skill or reading a certain number of books each month. Keep an eye on personal improvement and development.

  5. If something emotionally charged happens with someone, try to think before you talk. If you can, take 24 hours before responding,  that way it is easier to consolidate your thoughts and speak from a position of balance and clarity.

  6. Don’t befriend people who are unethical to others thinking that you are neutral or mature enough to allow them to be who they are while you nonjudgmentally be who you are. People who tell you that they are lying to someone else or who are  acting unethically to someone else will always without fail at some point direct these negative attributes your way.

  7. Eat right and get exercise, this also seems obvious but when you go to your high school reunion it will be painfully obvious who didn’t learn this lesson early.

  8. Have fun everyday. Take things seriously but don’t let things overwhelm you. Take time to read or play a sport or do whatever you use to meditate and relax and have fun every day.

  9. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Believe in yourself and your ability to project you will forward to fruition.

  10. Keep creative juices flowing by doing random art projects.

  11. Self-evaluation is essential to personal growth, take time to reflect on how you could have done something better in the future.

  12. Keep the commitments that you make with people and try to inform them early if you will not be able to keep your commitment to them.

and 13. Don't take unnecessary risks with your personal safely, sometimes you win, sometimes you loose.


Victoria Vaughn-Perling, c. 2005



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10/17/2006



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