| Wrote a Cyberletter to Bryan S. today. |
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April 16. 1998
Still have not found a job. My friend Josh says that my
problem is low self-esteem. I asked him what to do about it. He said just go out and get
some. I know that he meant well but....
I painted the back walkway today with a rainresistant
sealer so at least I could say that I did something productive. Also, tonight I am meeting
with Desmond to work on the MuseRevue pages. I am really blocked on where to go from here.
I suppose the thing that is really keeping me from focusing is the splitting headache that
I have right now. I have cut back on my tea consumption and I think that the lack of
caffeine is causing it. Well, I should go do something else productive.
....back later in evening. I made some necklaces for the
show this weekend. Desmond cancelled.
Lately, I have been thinking about the concept of
friendship and what that means. When do you know if you are being a good friend to
someone. When do you know that they are being a good friend to you. And privacy is an issue
too. What do you do if almost all your friends know each other and anything you say you
just know is going to spread like wildfire. I've been thinking about this for awhile now.
April 17, 1998
Had breakfast with Josh this morning in Santa Monica. The
Evening Outlook just closed and he was a writer for them so now he is in the position of
looking for a new job too. He showed me his resume and some articles that he had written.
It was cool to see that he had pursued his writing. My friend Steve is a pretty good
writer but he is teaching elementary school right now. I was doing that too for nine years
until I totally burned out.
After I got back, I painted another large swath of the
pavement with watersealant. Have just come in to cool off and there was a phone message
about a job. Cool! I called back right away and am waiting for a call back
now. I called Alice to see if the party thing was still on for tomorrow. Am waiting for
her to call me back too. I am also going to see Amy tomorrow. She finally kicked Dave out
of the house because...well that is their business. Erich called yesterday to thank me for
the shirt and photo of myself that I sent him. He said that he is thinking of giving one
of his kidneys to his brother who had kidney failure. Erich is 6'5" and his body
doesn't always do what it is supposed to anyway so even thought it is a very noble gesture
on his part it does feel really dangerous for him to do. His parents are FREAKING out as
you could well imagine.
Hmm, I am still thinking of that friendship thing. When I
was at Josh's he had a copy of Emily Post on the coffee table. Geez I think that I need to
buy a copy of that. I am so poorly socialized that some times I have no idea what the
right thing to do in a given situation is. Okay case in point. On one of my last
interviews I did an imitation of my interviewer. Now I can look back and think what was I
thinking but at the time...it just popped out. Kind of just like the tears in the same
interview. He asked me what I wanted to be doing in the next five years and I said that I
wanted to be a part of setting up education on the net for children and that I had already
started a thing called Bedtime Tales where kids
would be able to log on any time of day or night and have a story read to them or a song
sung to them. The tears popped right up. I was thinking of all those lonely kids that I
saw in the school system. Some of them didn't even have money for lunch. I tried to
explain why I cried but you know if you cry on a job interview you might as well walk in
with a sign on you head that says, UNSTABLE. Oh well, it was a long drive from home
anyway. What I would like to do is create my own job. Like the person who did jennicam.
She has a camera in her bedroom and has subscribers that watch her live her life, which I
hear is even kind of mundane, (Sorry Jenni, if you ever come here and read this, I don't
want to offend you - I actually think that you are pretty cool - attractive also.) The
person that told me about it was on another job interview that I went on which would have
been doing web page design for a XXX rated porn site. That was a very interesting
interview for Rodney King of Cream. I was asking so many personal questions about what he
did and how he felt about it he probably thought that I was either a writer, snoop or the
police. Here is the link to it -do not go there unless you are of legal age and are
prepared for what ever "in the face" kid of stuff you are likely to find on a
XXX rated site. Rodney was a musician from Seattle -
came to L.A. and look what happened. Here is the web address.
http://www.rodneymoore.com/rms/ontheset/ontheset.html
April 21, 1998
I spent the day yesterday painting a large blue-violet
dragon on the back wall of the house. Today was really hot so I spent it indoors writing a
letter to a friend that I have not spoken to for some years. Tonight I am meeting with
Desmond for the make-up appointment to the MuseRevue. He came on Sunday but we missed each
other. I am feeling totally blocked about the job thing. I did have an idea of setting up
a psychic netline so that people could call in and get advice. There are only a few I
found when I did a search for cyberpychic - I would be the CyberPsiChick if I do that.
April 28, 1998
Wow! Okay now I am really weirded out.Today I was looking
up people I used to know on the net to see if I could find links to them and I came across
some ten year old Church of Bob Archives where this ex-boyfriend was talking about
me. I am putting the link to it here on the left border and also printing the actual part
about me here just in case that site suddenly disappears:
"Victoria, heretofore referred to as the
girlfriend, responded to the message in a knowing but unknowing fashion (Praise ``Bob''!!)
and things mushroomed from there. She was having some trouble with ``Bob'' and the
Teachings, so I gave her a copy of _Illuminatus!_; it took about 150 pages before she
SNAPPED, and now everything is clear -- she's already past me now in other RAW reading,
and yes, she did murmer something about the J & H communion stuff already. I'm getting
ready to raid part of her library -- a quite substantial collection of books on MIND
CONTROL that she inherited from her father.
Yes, the temple at 4357 Wilshire, and it is magnificent...
douglas"
So I suppose this just illustrates how people should be careful about what they
say on the Internet since stuff just handgs around that is still searchable ten years
later. Whew, what a sobering thought.
Some of the other things that I found on the Internet today were some really
cool links. One is a link to a shareware art site that had amazing free borders,
animations and umm other good stuff called environments. Plus here is also a
Photomicroscopy site - you will spill into this site at the amino acids page.
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/micro/gallery/aminoacid/aminoacid.html
Gotta go now, I am really tired.
Cyberbride's Cyberdiary Continued
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This is Me!
| Okay, not really, but it does look like some of
the sunflowers that I plant in the garden every year. |
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